I put this here because much of my clarity comes to me while discussing such things with my group. Also I have learned that at its core, anger is a spiritual disturbance.
I've been thinking a great deal lately about anger and its cause. Its apparent to me that at its core, anger is merely a misdirected frustration and or pain, so then a person would have to ask - from what then is the cause of the pain? That is the crust of it.
What then causes the pain (frustration)? Only the individual can answer that because each to their own and all that. Unfortunately, this also proves to be the elusive part, after all, if a person knew why they get angry, wouldn't it be wise to avoid it, unless of course one chooses to be in a state of frustration? I don't think anyone truly wishes such a thing but many live here because they don't see an alternative.
If you are to ask an angry person (preferably after they calm down) what made them angry, they would likely say something as; 'because he/she pisses me off!' This is because they have to blame someone or something else. But this usually isn't because they don't want to blame themselves, its because they simply can't see how it could possibly their fault.
Fault is the wrong term here however it does describe the relevant situation. After many years of frustration and the realization that not everyone seems as angry as those around them (such as in my case) I had to think there must be a possibility that the anger was a weakness or a problem from within - me. Just the same, I was at a loss to understand what the heck that was and because I was so quick to anger at so many a diversified thing, I was at a loss. How could I be to blame?
Today something occurred to me that as it turns out, I had already know, but somehow had forgotten. The anger comes from the inability to recognize what the 'heart' is telling them. The soul is betrayed - a betrayal of self.
Years ago I was witness to my father beating my stepmother to the ground. Not physically but emotionally. He wasn't trying to be mean, he was trying to help by showing and telling her 'how' things should be done. But, his constant anger was his inability to get her to see or do things the way they should be (in his mind). She on the other hand was unable to change from what she was and literally shut down. This was her only recourse to avoid conflict as she was also unable to change him.
I thought the chances of finding a single cause for all anger would be improbable because we are individual's and therefore each have are own reasons for our anger. Then today while discussing what we have been doing and feeling - it hit me - anger is a violation of the soul.
To put it another way: the soul knows what we need and want as an individual. It is when we go against this inner (soul) knowledge that we find our anger. The realization and the beauty of this is, that it works both ways. Once the angers source is understood, all that is need is to reverse the situation which caused the anger to find what it is to make our soul happy. Redirect the anger to be at peace with self.
I think everyone asks of themselves why or what caused their anger in times of solitude, yet sadly many do not find the solution as the anger and the fear that comes with it stops the ability of reasoning. But I think you would also agree, that if it was not important to understand what the cause of the anger was, we would not be asking ourselves why.
After much self re-evaluation, I have discovered that most of my anger has been directed at myself. I was angry for making a 'mistake' and I was angry that I had wasted all that time I spent on what ever I was doing at the time.
Funny thing that time. Because once the realization that we do not die (we continue on in spirit) time or the wasting of it, means nothing and if it means nothing, I was getting mad at nothing. Put it simply, I need to learn patience.
Example: I get very upset when people don't look before they cross the street and 'just' walk out in front of traffic. I think to myself - don't they care if they live or die - what the hell is the matter with them.
Solution: watching those people, it looked as though they really didn't care if they lived or died. Now if that is so, I would be better off talking to them to see if I could help them out of their depression.
Problem: Being realistic, this would be a difficult thing to do because those folk likely wouldn't appreciate being stopped and having some stranger try to solve their problem(s). However, it has given me an idea about giving a talk and inviting anyone with depression issues where I might be able to help them understand what is happening.
Just a thought.
There is much more to this that I'm afraid I haven't brought forth effectively here, but I do think that I have given you enough for thought.
Remember there is no way to happiness - happiness is the way. (Wayne Dyer)
A wish for all - be the Light
Sincerely
RG Whyte
Come visit others at our main site http://zeek.ca
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